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PeARleen tAN 24 FeBuaRy
LOvEs... My Saviour, My Lord, Jesus Eat,slp,play Drums,piano,guitar Bed,tigger,mickey Chicken rice Drama shows Christmas Ice skating Ultimate frisbee
hAtes... lOsiNg... beiNg UnderestiMateD...
Past... |
Tuesday, September 19
tOdAe iSh ShiT dAy today go take maths paper n poa..at 1st maths i still quite confident in scoring gd for paper 2..den realise the daMn shit qn i so careless..gt mistake..repeated same mistake bt tt mistake no give pity mark kind..sO dAMn irritated n anGry wiB mYseLf!den go hm..aft pOa paper..LUNCH sux lyk for monkey eat kind..den father @ hm..see his face again..he see mE 1st thing ask me dO tiS dO tt..dunno hw tO do himself!he think he bring $ in he KinG siA..one dAy i wiLL earN more $ den hIm den den..dunno if will treat hIm tt wAy..mayb cuz i too sOft hearted..mayb nt..nW stIll thiNkinG abt tt prOb..duNnO wht to dO den iS best..tot ok already feW yrS agO cuz lyk nOtHing happen..den i sAw one dAy in hIS com den realise..somemore oUt of a sudDen give mY mOtheR fLoweR..haiiz..den saW sometHing worse..duNno is he commiT or wht buT surely gt sumthiNg to dO wiB him de if nt hE woNt keep de rytE..he wOuldnt evEn have tHose pHotos..sO many qns iN My hEad nw..wht shd i do Best?!nt doIng anything oso is dOing sumthiNg de lo..or shd i really duN dO anything?!dUnNo whO tO tok to also..whO is bEst?!wHo is aVaiLaBle?!Who cAn rEalLi hElp me?!haiiz..hEar God osO lyk sUddEn dAMn difficUlt lyk tt..ARRGGGHHHHHHHH!!!dAMN coNfusEd n VEXED..i actually onCe tot of letTing evErY thing gO i jUs gO..But i scAreD dUring jUdgeMent dAy.........hAiiz..aRggH..!!! ytd brO say he siCk..mother come hm straight away say eat le ltr go see dOctor..last wk i gt cough n flun sligHT feVer y they nvr say anything?!i thInk thEy dUn eVen nOe i wAs SICK!brO oso cough wht!y treatment dAMn different?!he is ur son den i nt ur daughter ma?!why Why WHy WHY!!i always try tO find "excuses" tO convince myself things arent the way i think..they care 4 me..love me..bt y does tis kind of situation always haPPeN?how am i going tO convince myself fuRther?!y r u always ther 4 hiM n nt me?!i m oso UR daughter..everytime i think of it i jus feel lyk crying..gOod things give hiM bad ones i take..elder 1 mus give way tO smaller 1!havent i give enough?!everytime he insult me i oso bear wiB it.but u nvr spoke a word of justice 4 mE.even if he is in the wrong,it is right in ur sight.when im right it's always wrong in ur sight!?i love pride more den he dOes!he insult me i nvr hit back alrdy very gD..cuz im a person who hits back twice when u hit me once!nOt enough ma?!sometimes i want tO treat hIm as if we arent really close related..ignore him tO prevent quarrels..hittiNg hIm bAck..i even felt lyk disowning hIm..but dunno y i coulDnt briNg myself tO do iT..ignore hIm oso kenna scolded say he is uR brO lei..hw can u treat him lyk tt?!den when tok tO him end up quarrel u blame everything tO me!i didnt start anything faUlt oso becOme mine!?u tok 2 ME 1ST OK!if dun lyk dEn dun toK 2 ME la!u noe..mum..it hUrts me a lot juS becuz u r alwayS oN hIs side..u r wOrse tHan dAd!nO oNe evEn nOes hW muCh teARs i dRop jus becUz of tt parenT Love i yeaRn 4 moRe..i waNted to dO thIngs tO catcH ur atteNtioN..purposely fAll sick..slp wib wEt haiR..bathe finish bLow cOld Air..all sOrts i wanted..bt i dUnnO y i dIdnt..i wAnted tO tUrned bAd bt i duNno y i diDnt..AM I REALLY IN THE FAULT TT U BOTH R SO BIASED?!or becuz i jus hapPen to be the 2nD chiLd?!bt y dun i see every 2Nd cHiLd haviNg tHe saMe proBlem?!i rAther u NVR gAve biRth to ME!!! Labels: sHiT dAy 1:30 PM |
WishEs... eveRyoNe Safe & souNd gOod ResUltS PromiSinG FutuRe dReaM amBitiOn coMe tRue...
liNks...
Cheryl
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